Dear Chevy,

I saw your new commercial tonight. You think after all this time, you can win me back??? Frankly, I can't believe your nerve!

Well, IT'S TOO LITTLE TOO LATE! So many years, spending my money with not a care in the world. Then when that ran out, you wanted my taxes, too. Finally, I grew up and realized you were never gonna change, so I left. My needs just weren't important to you.

Now, you come around saying "I get better mileage than your Accord."

I had to leave you before you even considered what I wanted. Now you offer me what you couldn't when I left. Well, it's just not enough. That was years ago. I've grown and I have BIGGER DREAMS!

You want me to leave my Accord, for a common Cobalt? Not even if you had an ELECTRIC CAR!!! Chevrolet, I don't ever want to see you again!

Sitting Outside

I spent around 30-40 minutes this late afternoon sitting in front of the corner grocery store at one of those outdoor bistro tables. I bought some weird but delicious polish cookies called Delicje. I just sat there thumbing through the free City Arts magazine, eating my cookies, and watching the people walk, run, bike and drive by. It was so peaceful and pleasant. My day has not been bad so far, but those 30 minutes probably doubled or tripled the quality of my day!

That's when I realized "Wow, I really need to take breaks from my people-house!" Just like taking breaks at work, I need to get outside of my people-house for at least 15 min every 2 hours. I really like my people-house, but have hated living in a people-house for about 6 months now. Thinking I was missing living in my tent, I just kept complaining about living in this stupid, superfluous people-house.

Now, I think maybe I just miss being outside. Living in a tent pretty much makes you spend tons of time outside, because it's really not much more comfortable inside, unless it's raining. And there's not much to do inside a tent. There's not much cleaning or maintaining to be done. You pay your bills at the post office or library, when you live in a tent. You can watch movies on your laptop in a tent, but why not just take it outside to the camp chairs? It's dangerous to cook inside the tent, so you cook outside or just go to the pub and eat with your friends.

Since we've been back in Seattle, I've also been working in a building instead of outdoors. As a river guide, it's not just when you are on the river that your outside. It's the whole job:
loading boats - outside; riding on the bus - head; feet and hands outside; safety talk - outside; on the river - outside; schmoozing guests - outside; making lunch - outside; cooking dinner/breakfast- outside (usually in a superbly equipped kitchen), sleeping - outside!

It's no wonder, I'm missing my outdoor time. It makes sense, because I really do like our people-house, but something is missing in there.

So today, I started taking my OSHA mandated breaks from my people-house and I pledge to stick to the recommended schedule of one 15 minute break every 2 indoor hours for the sanity and safety of myself and my co-dwellers.

Not Milk?

Hate the taste of that frothy goo from the moo-moo? Feeling bad about not drinking those 3 glasses of milk a day, recommended by the Dairy Association. Well don't feel bad, anymore. Check out this website: milk sucks. Not only do I think it's funny that a website exists called Milk Sucks, but its a great point - people pushing milk often overlook the fact that it's not very good for you. If you didn't know, simply speaking, the cause of Osteoporosis is a lack of calcium, but this is usually due to an over-consumption of protein... hmmm, wait milk has alot of protein...

This recommendation ignores the lack of evidence for a link between consumption of dairy products and prevention of osteoporosis.

Harvard School of Public Health

Drunk Biking Legal!

This is awesome. I'm not sure if this is a great idea or a terrible idea, but it's yet another reason the bicycle is superior to the automobile.

In Washington State, it is legal to ride your bike drunk, although if you sass the cop, your bike will likely be impounded, but there is no fee!

Full text here.

Turn off the auto-pilot

So I have been out for awhile. Idling along in my created-world life, happily - mostly. Avoiding computer time, but I was roused from my slumber by a ridiculous email. Allegedly written by someone intelligent, but obviously transparent propaganda.

I think I'm pretty funny, so I helped this guy say what he really meant to say. I'm posting it here because I get angry when I get these emails, especially when people say they didn't really agree with it but sent it anyway.

Here is my plea. BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU CREATE IN THE WORLD. When you repeat things idly, you add snow to the snowball, fuel to the fire. Be intentional. Only add fuel to a fire you believe in. And I really believe in making fun of this guy's parochial and sophomoric tirade. I don't believe he is really scared, but uses the word "scared" to try to scare me. I feel like he is talking to my brother's kids, and I don't even have a brother.

Here is the problem with forwarding this to me. I can read. So I read, then I think...

Most of this doesn't even make sense logically. Who cares how Obama paid for college??? This seems to have been written by a twelve year old who is easily frightened.

anyway, i have corrected the letter for your enjoyment. I have added his private thoughts that he had hoped to arouse in his readers.
(DISCLAIMER: This is a caricature, I am not claiming that these are his actual thoughts, only my perception of them. Any similarity to his actual thoughts is purely coincidental. This email is intended for educational purposes only, not to be construed as financial advice. I am not nor do I claim to be a professional of anything but river guiding. HA - There you go, you litigious right-wingers; you'll have to get your golden egg elsewhere!)

love,
me

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. - Samuel Johnson

Begin forwarded message:

Per snopes, Pritchett acknowledges writing this letter & sending it to the NYTimes.

AN OPEN LETTER TO PRESIDENT Obama

Dear President Obama:

You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me. (Because I don't trust black people, they are mostly theives.)

You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you. (I am easily confused by the big words you use.)

You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support. (I could understand if your daddy paid your way, getting you out of every debacle you created.)

You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American. (In other words, you don't understand that you need to use fear to keep the public in line, while you syphon off millions of dollars to your friend's companies.)

You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll. (If you had run a couple companies into the ground, at least I could trust you would try.)

You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don't understand it at its core. (You have too much compassion! At the very least, you could have crashed a couple fighters during training.)

You scare me because you lack humility and 'class', always blaming others. (I don't like it when people blame me for not taking responsibility when I refuse to take responsibility.)

You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail.
(I can't even make up a funny comment for this one. This is just plain dumb. You can't really believe this. If you do, you should stop watching Fox entertainment news; all this was handled in the primary. What does that even mean - "America fail?" Does that mean give up the Bill of Rights to "increase safety" by hiring a whole class of previously unemployed workers to staff the TSA and slow down our air travel, because OOPS, Georgie took care of that.)

You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the 'blame America ' crowd and deliver this message abroad.. (I mean, the world loved us until you were elected by an ACTUAL majority.)

You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector. (Those Euro's scare me too, with all their fun, and happiness, and their good health; they need to work harder, I hear they all get a month off per year.)

You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government controlled one. (My uncle is a medical insurance CFO, and my wife is a VP at Major drug company.)

You scare me because you prefer 'wind mills' to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves. (I have a majority share in... well, let's just say renewable power is a bad idea until all the fossil fuels are gone.)

You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world. (I've got MY golden egg; it was subsidized by taxpayers, because it was mis-managed by people committed to producing a product that Americans no longer want, so congress had to save it from bancruptcy. But it's okay, the goose got the those managers out of there and it only cost a couple million for their two weeks severance pay.)

You scare me because you have begun to use 'extortion' tactics against certain banks and corporations. (I can't really tell the difference between the branches of government; the President is part of Congress, right?)

You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals. (We've spent too much money in Iraq to waste any money on our citizens.)

You scare me because you will not openly listen to or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people. (I's educated! My mom said I was smart.)

You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient. (Are you claiming to be God? I'm pretty sure I heard you open a speech with "I'm a Golden God" or that could have been Billy Crudup in Almost Famous. I hate that movie, glamorizing drugs and Rock And Roll... I am waiting patiently for you to say you are omnipresent, then it's on!)

You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do. (It's wierd that they do, since Rupert Murdoch is so far right that he scares most of us, and he OWNS most of the American media.)

You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaughs, Hannitys, O'Relllys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view. (These are intelligent, compassionate men who only occasionally use circular logic to confuse the viewers. It's not fair to demonize them, they never demonized you - unless you count calling you the "Devil.")

You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing. (Plus, you let your wife run all over you.)

Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years. (Because you will still be able to use the Patriot Act on me, unless you close Guantanamo Bay, which you would only do if you yourself were a terrorist.)

Lou Pritchett

Which is the "Real World"

After spending a month camping, 20 days of which were on a continuous river trip on the 297 miles of the Colorado River that passes through the Grand Canyon, I returned home to hear much talk of the "real world." Such as, "how is it coming back to the real world?," and "oh, I'm not ready to go back to the real world." Another favorite of mine is the phrase "real world pressures."

I would like to make our phrasing a little more accurate. Where humans spend most of their mental time is an unusual, totally-invented world. Most of this "world" was not here until humans dreamed it up, then began living as if these invented things were necessities. Almost all of our "real world pressures" are related to acquiring amenities and luxuries.

So I am now redefining the world where we spend most of our time - the "Created World." From hence forth, the natural world (AKA the wilderness) will be known as the "Real World."

In the real world, the one that would continue on without humans, people need very little to survive, even thrive - water, food, shelter. Beyond that, to improve our quality of life, we tend to seek beauty, companionship, love and peaceful rest. Sadly, these are qualities that are typically missing from our Created-World life. And our pursuit of these often interrupted by those alleged "real world pressures."

So, when you speak to me of the real world, know that I am imagining a high desert plain with a canyon running through it, where life abounds near the flow of the river, where the only people you see are the people of your tribe and the only buildings around are makeshift huts (AKA tents and tarps), where there is no money to be made, no career ladder to climb, no cars to maintain, and even no internet on which to spew my rhetoric. But only beauty to be seen in every direction and my only concerns are "is this the best camp before dark" and "what's for dinner?"

Glad I was bike commuting!

Since it is Bike to Work Month, I have committed to biking to work 100% during May. This is choice has really paid off so far with vast increases in fitness level (in other words, far less pain on those Seattle hills), gas money savings (I haven't bought ANY since I returned from vacation), and time savings.

Due to some crazy construction on Northbound I-5, I would have been stuck in this for the last three nights, even though I was leaving work after 9pm.

Since I had so much extra time, and it was nice out, I decided to stop on the overpass and take a look at the fantastic view of downtown and Elliot Bay. Seeing the EMP (pics) is one reason I love bike commuting everyday. Sorry, I only took pictures of the traffic. Guess it would have been nicer if I had taken some of the view, since you're probably used to this view!